Who’s Everybody?
“Everybody knows them,” said the school librarian to me. I had just asked her what the school library hours were.
This was in 1996, when I had just begun teaching high school religion at Chapel, a Catholic international school in São Paulo, Brazil. I was still learning my way around campus, and I wanted to check out the library, to see what resources it offered. The first time I tried the library, it was closed—and the hours weren’t posted. I was disappointed.
When the librarian said, “Everybody knows them,” I immediately had a couple of negative reactions. The first was that I was apparently not part of “everybody”, i.e., the insiders.
My second reaction was that I was apparently not very bright, since I didn’t know the hours.
Perhaps you’ve experienced similar reactions, when you’ve been a newcomer somewhere. It could have been here at St. Matt’s, another parish, or anywhere, really. It’s very easy for any group to tend towards “insiderism.” (Recall Fr. Thomas’s recent homily on “the Ins and the Outs”.)
In a situation like I had at Chapel, what are some options? Feelings are important. It’s also important to be careful about taking things personally. In Brazil, I sensed the librarian wasn’t really trying to exclude or demean me. My feelings informed me; they didn’t control me.
After I analyzed my feelings, I went back to the librarian. I didn’t criticize her. I simply said that I thought it would be a good idea to post the hours. It would be helpful to all new teachers and students. It would show hospitality to everyone.
My story has a happy ending. The Chapel librarian posted the hours a couple of days after I talked to her. I noticed an opportunity to boost hospitality, and I spoke up. (Tactfully, of course.)
If you’ve noticed opportunities to improve hospitality—or other things—here at St. Matt’s, please let me know.
Thanks, and have a great week!
Phil Grant, Administrator
Safe Environment Coordinator
651-224-9793
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